Tuesday 28 April 2020

Deeds of Stealth and Cunning: The Story of the Raglan Doole AS 51, as told by Lord Yannick of Normandy (who was there and did suffer)

'Doooole!' they cried! 'Doooole!' For shires did muster their finest archers to compete on the Raglan Doole.

The year was AS. 51, at Raglan Ffaire. This is the story of the Evil Baroness, Her Dread Excellency Ari Mala and her insatiable desire to win the Doole, and of poor Yannick; who did suffer greatly.

It began just days into the Ffaire when Master Archer Lord Mícheál of Dun in Mara mysteriously, accidentally, brutally chopped off his bow hand with an axe while making breakfast. No-one suspected foul play.

Barely one day later, Master Archer Lord Yannick of Normandy narrowly survived a Cards and Gin related assassination attempt by the Evil Baroness. Her plan to prevent him shooting for his home shire of Pont Alarch was thwarted by the Ladies of the shire, who administered coffee in great quantities. His life saved, the Ladies of the shire did nonetheless gather and glare at him in silence for being so foolish as to fall for such a simple ploy; and lo... Yannick did suffer.

Now shunned by Pont Alarch for his foolish behaviour, Yannick was cast aside. Lord Mícheál with his single remaining hand was pressed into service by Lady Alana, who was seemingly immune to his miserable pleading for mercy.

Her Dread Excellency decided it was time for Plan B!, “if you can't kill 'em, join 'em up!”.

The day of the Doole, the Evil Baroness cast a spell on an unsuspecting Lord Marx, her own team mate! Lord Marx mysteriously vanished in a cloud of green smoke, mere moments before the Doole began. Leaving behind nought but strange globules of green goo on the end of his arrows. The hapless Yannick wandered too close and was forced to shoot for the Evil Baroness under enchantment; the Ladies of Pont Alarch did glare, and so... Yannick did suffer.


The Tournament Began!

Their Highnesses Pól and Caitriona, of blessed memory, who observed the Doole from the hill, did provide much critique on stance and technique most helpfully. The contestants were most grateful.

Lady (now Dame) Leonet de Covenham did Herald the tourney, and was very fair and impartial, especially to those with a full purse. Alas, being short on cash; Yannick did suffer.

Introductions were made.

For the Shire of Pont Alarch, known as Team Ham, ably captained by Lady Alana Utteritch and with Lady Haesel of Berneslai and MOST of Lord Mícheál of Dun in Mara as teammates. There was much cheering.

For the Shire of Depedene under Wychwood, known as Team Mischief, Captained by Lord Joel Ben Stuart, with Lady Valda Kevinsdotter and Viscountess Susannah of York. There was much cheering.

From the Shire of Thamesreach, known to all as the Wildlings, Lady Constanza of Thamesreach as Captain, with Lord John of Thamesreach and Lord Guy de Dinan at her side. There was much cheering.

For the Shire of West Dragonshire, known as WD 20. Captained by Her Dread Excellency, Baroness Ari Mala, with her enchanted minions, sorry, team members, Lord Edmund Fitz John de Ocham and Lord Yannick of Normandy, there was much cheering, except from Pont Alarch, who did glare at poor Yannick; who did suffer.


The First round, four teams shoot off, head to head. Two teams must be eliminated.

Pont Alarch, who were the bookies' favourites to win, mostly because their team are all Master archers, are the first team up. Their opponents, The Wildlings of Thamesreach. The teams went head to head.

Best of Three ends. Alana and Constanza shot first, three arrows each. Constanza Won! The Wildlings go one up. 

Lady Alana was reportedly seen punching a squirrel, or was it a squire? 

Haesel and John were next, Haesel Won the point! Both teams are level...

Mícheál and Guy shot next. It's a Tie!

The tie-break, team Captains Alana and Constanza shoot one arrow each, closest to the middle wins the point.

The tie-break end is shot as a volley. “Nock!”, “Draw...!”, “Loose!!!”. It is close, very close... Constanza won the point!

Shock and Disbelief! Pont Alarch's Team of Top Master Archer assassins, go out in the first round!

Lady Constanza looks suitably smug, there is much cheering. Lady Alana visibly struggles to contain her rage; and Yannick did suffer.


West Dragonshire and Depedene were next to shoot.

Though valiant in spirit, Depedene had no answer to the Evil Baroness and her enchanted minions. WD 20 go through in straight victories!


The Final!

The Wildlings of Thamesreach Vs WD 20 of West Dragonshire.

Constanza and Mala are first to shoot, Constanza Wins. John and Edmund are next, John wins. Guy and Yannick, Yannick wins. John and Mala, John wins. Constanza and Edmund, Constanza wins the point!

Thamesreach Wildlings are four flags to one up at the halfway point of the final, needing only one more flag for victory.

The Evil Baroness, never one to be defeated easily, once again worked her black hearted magic and her team did rally.

Guy and Mala, Mala wins. Constanza and Yannick, Yannick wins. Guy and Edmund, Edmund wins!

It is all square, four flags each. The next flag wins the Doole!

John shoots against Yannick. Lord Yannick was momentarily distracted by shouts of "PIE!" from the many hecklers, Yannick being most vexed by the lack of actual pie! Despite the shouting and heckling, and the lack of pie, the enchantment of the Evil Baroness was too strong and Lord Yannick's arrow was straight and true and did win her a 5 flags to 4 victory.

Lord Yannick and Lord Edmund did kneel in awe before the Evil Baroness, who did cackle theatrically in her Victory. Both were released from their enchantment, confused, but mostly unharmed.

Lord Yannick was finally returned to his comfy chair in Pont Alarch; and he did suffer.

No comments:

Post a Comment