Wednesday 22 April 2020

Courageous Challenges and Desperate Duels: A Tale of Trouble over Taxes from Lord Maredudd ap Gwylim

Many years ago, when our lands had no Coronet, and we were still making enquiries amongst ourselves as to whether indeed that should be our destiny, yet were we still an administrative region of the great Kingdom of Drachenwald, with regional officers who collected the reports of the Shires and sent them on for the attention of the Their Majesties' Officers of State. In those days, it happened that The Shire of Mynydd Gwyn had within its populace a Shire Exchequer, a regional Exchequer, and the Kingdom Exchequer; and so was set in place the planning for some "business"... 

At a great feast, such as are common within these lands, Their Majesties called into Their Presence the Kingdom Exchequer: "We have been examining the taxation records for the Kingdom, and it appears that We have not received all that is Our due!" The Kingdom Exchequer insisted that all taxes received had been forwarded directly to Their Majesties, and asked if Their Majesties could show where this discrepancy had occurred? "The Isles" (which was the common name for our lands at that time), came the reply. "Call the Isles Exchequer" echoed through the halls, and the regional Exchequer was found and presented. Once again a hapless officer was questioned, and once again they insisted that all taxes had been forwarded. 


Examining the records in more detail showed that the (alleged) shortfall came from the taxes owed by the Shire of Mynydd Gwyn. "Call the Mynydd Gwyn Exchequer!" Your humble narrator was produced as the (possibly) guilty party, but insisted that there had been no error in his figures, and that all was as it should be. Their Dread Majesties insisted "But there have been no taxes paid by the Isle of Anglesey within the borders of your Shire!" After some discussion, an explanation was forthcoming: One of Their Majesties' recent ancestors had been the puissant Sir Elffin O'Mona, Duke Drachenwald, and because Mona and Anglesey are, in different tongues, the same lands those lands had been deeded back to him to simplify the record keeping (rather than His then Majesty paying taxes on his personal holdings that would then be returned to Him as King). Formal presentation of the deeding had been made, but no record of any revoking appeared to exist from after the Noble Duke had relinquished His Throne. 


Relieved to have successfully thrown the blame onto someone else, your narrator started blustering about the terrible insult to the Shire of Mynydd Gwyn, and calling for satisfaction of this insult to be made. "Call the Shire Champion!" was the somewhat unwise cry from the Shire Exchequer; unwise, because it was then gently pointed out that, authorised but a month before, The Exchequer (your narrator) was the only authorised armoured combatant living within the bounds of the Shire and therefore by default, the Shire Champion. With much hesitation, the somewhat tentative words "For the insult to the Shire of Mynydd Gwyn, I, Lord Maredudd ap Gwylim challenge (gulp) His Grace Sir Elffin O'Mona, Duke Drachenwald to single combat" were forced out... Fortunately His Grace had been called away on other business; unfortunately, one of His Grace's doughty squires was present and offered immediate satisfaction; fortunately your narrator had neglected to bring his armour! 


There then followed a comedy of errors whereby for the next three full Reigns of the Crowns of Drachenwald one or other of His Grace and I would either not be present or not be armoured. Eventually the challenge was fought with the predictable result, but, by dint of catching His Grace at the end of a long day of fighting, your narrator did better than might have been expected: I lasted for several seconds, and I believe that one of my blows might have been good (if only it had been harder or on target).

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