In a small town in the north of the Principality lived a bravado who took great joy in battle but lacked humility and was given to crowing which wars had they been in, which tournaments, which great lords they challenged and what a beating had been given. Being proud and quick to wrath, though of great courage, and sometimes esteeming fighting over learning, this bravado did not always remember to tell that it had been given to them. All day this bravado was out talking and swinging swords, prattling of which great list they might enter this week, next week or the next month and whom they would defeat, forgetting to do what they had been told to practice, and bemoaning not having the finest clothes to fight in and to sit drinking at feast after.
Now it happened that in the next town lived a seamstress who passed the bravado when she came to market or went to see tournaments or attended great feasts, for her work was fine and she had sewn even for the Queen herself. This seamstress heard the great boasting and occasional pellwork and thought, “Truly this must be a noble of high rank and great skill if they can afford to talk more and practice less. I can make fine clothes of brocade and silk wool from Flanders. I can sew finest linen for shirts to dress them for battle.” And so the seamstress asked the bravado what clothes were wanted and the bravado replied saying “all of them.” And the seamstress, being of wit as well as beauty, replied saying “that is as well, but they must be paid for”. “Of course” replied the bravado and brought out a great purse and said “there will be more once I have finished the next tournament” And the seamstress took the purse and began sewing and soon the fine clothes were brought and were received with great joy.
A month passed and another and yet another and still the bravado had not paid, though she had oft sent food and drink to the seamstress and others and praised the seamstress in company, and even offered to fight for her. And the seamstress bethought herself to how she could teach the bravado to love the virtues of humility and diligence as well as courage and largesse and also how not to be a spendthrift and to manage accounts better. So on her walk, she trod softly, and once past the bravado’s house, she slipped back and watched from the hedge opposite. Now, this seamstress had been of a time a camp follower and had seen many combats and was not unversed in the ways of weapons. So she went unto a squire who lived nearby, and showed what the bravado did and said “if I do this in combat a plaisance, what will happen?”. And the squire laughed and said “you will be struck upon the head, with the shot called wrap, where one has armor and it does not pain”. Then she showed another strike that the bravado had made and how the bravado’s shield was held and said “If I do this?” And the squire said “you will be struck upon the hindquarters with the shot called “wrap” and there will be much laughter for there is no armor there and it waxeth full sore.”
So the seamstress hid in the undergrowth, and when the bravado failed to hold their shield in the correct defense cried “and now you are struck in the hindquarters” and the bravado yelled “come out, if you know so much and can do better”. “I do so know”, said the seamstress, “and if you stand like that and hold your shield so and do not move it, you will be struck on the hindquarters by the shot known as wrap and it will wax full sore”. “Truly I will not,” said the bravado. “Indeed you will'' said the seamstress, “for even I can see from here that it is a great target and it is open”. Then the bravado waxed wroth and cried “look thou to thy needle and I to my sword for I do not tell thee how to sew. So shouldst thou not tell me how to fight, and I will not be struck for I have practised”. “Look thou to thy courtesy'' replied the seamstress “as well as thy defence and thou wilt, for thou art wide open”. Then the bravado waxed wrother and cried “indeed I tell thee that I wilt not and if I am I will give thee a yard of cloth per blow received. “Indeed you will not” replied the seamstress, “you will give me a metre, for so it is called in France for a measure of cloth, and it is longer than a yard”. “I will so” replied the bravado. And so the bargain was struck.
And the seamstress was no fool and went straight unto the squires of the land, and to the Knights, and even to the Prince, and told them of the bargain, and all agreed that the bravado should learn humility and how to manage accounts better, and in combats a plaisance in the lists, they struck for that same wrap, so that in short time the Seamstress had five metres of cloth and the bravado a fine cushion to sit on, embroidered by the seamstress, for she was of good heart. And the bravado came to the seamstress and said “here are your five metres of cloth and now the bargain is accounted between us” “Nay, it is not” replied the seamstress “for you bargained only for my measure of cloth and you did not specify how many shots and for how long and therefore on each occasion you are struck you now owe me a metre of cloth. Moreover, you said not in the lists, nor on any named field so you can count practice also.”
And the bravado could not gainsay for love of chivalry, and also because they were well aware that it was by their own fault that they were captured by this lady’s great wit.
All thought this a good jape, for the bravado had learned the vertue of weighing one’s word before one speaks, and even the bravado’s lord, who had also long wished that the bravado manage accounts better and not leave their communal purse empty three weeks before their pay was due, for love of travelling and fighting the land over, offered a pint of ale for that same shot, should it be left open in the lists.
So, good gentles, if you see a combatant in the Lists bearing a cat paly on verte with a bordure sable, and rejoicing in the noble name of Alessandra, and being well versed, of necessity, in the block for the shot to the hindquarters known as wrap, and a seamstress hight Oriana nic Kendrick watching and smiling, then you may be sure that it is this same pair. And since to aid a lady be most chivalrous, and seamstresses are forever short of cloth as fools are short of sense, or fighters in the heat of battle of good ale, it behooves you, if you see it, to TAKE THAT SHOT, for as the marshal of France sayeth, there are no small deeds of arms, only great and good ones.
Yea, thus say I, being but a humble seamstress. T'was thus it began and still contiues. And being not cruel, I did unto that same Alessanra say, that come the gathering in that place, known as Pont Alarch, to celebrate the coming of Spring, I would appoint a champion, and thus my champion should meet with Alessandra, thus the conclusion would sit in the lap of the gods, and should she be the victor the matter would be concluded. And in their wisdom, the gods wrought upon us a great plague and the tourney cancelled, and thus the matter continues.
ReplyDelete